Rooted in Indian philosophy, yoga is an ancient method of relaxation, exercise, and healing that has gained a wide following in the United States. It has been shown to ease anxiety and depression, lower blood pressure, improve joint pain and function, and relieve pain and many other mental and physical complaints. It may come as no surprise, then, that yoga may also serve to enhance sexual function. According to a study, regular yoga practice improves several aspects of sexual function in women, including desire, arousal, orgasm, and overall satisfaction.
The study involved 40 healthy women, ages 22 to 55, who were enrolled in a yoga program in India. Most of the women were married, and all were sexually active. Subjects were instructed in a protocol of 22 yoga poses, or asanas, that are believed to have positive effects on abdominal and pelvic muscle tone, digestion, joint function, and mood. Various poses were modified for women who weren’t able to perform the full versions. Each participant filled out a standard sexual-function questionnaire at the beginning and end of the 12-week program, which featured an hour of yoga practice each day, followed by breathing and relaxation.
At the end of the program, the researchers found improvements in the women’s sexual-function scores in the six domains that were assessed (desire, arousal, lubrication, orgasm, pain, and overall satisfaction), particularly among women over age 45, who showed the greatest improvements in arousal, lubrication, and pain. Nearly 75% of the women said they were more satisfied with their sexual life following the yoga training. Major limitations of this study were its small size and the lack of a control group. The researchers, who are based at universities in New Delhi and Mumbai, say they are recruiting women for a larger study, which will include a control group.
If you’d like to try yoga, classes and video instruction are widely available. There are many different styles of yoga, and while many are safe, some can be strenuous and may not be appropriate for everyone. If you’re older, out of shape, or have physical limitations, you may want to check in with a clinician before trying yoga. You may also want to look into Iyengar (pronounced eye-en-gar) yoga, which uses props such as blankets, blocks, benches, and belts to assist in performing asanas. The idea behind Iyengar yoga is to help people experience asanas to the fullest extent possible despite physical limitations or lack of experience.
The 5 Ways Yoga Improves Your Sex Life
1. Flexibility.When I first started yoga, I couldn’t touch my toes in a forward fold. Now, when I’m in bed, I can hug my leg to my chest and kiss my thigh (which makes it easy for my husband to sling my leg up and over his shoulder in order to achieve deeper penetration during intercourse…I love the extra stimulation to my cervix). If you’d like to achieve this increased flexibility, go to yoga. Or develop a home yoga practice that focuses especially on hip openers, pelvis openers, and groin stretchers.
2.Mula Bandha.A well-balanced yoga practice regularly incorporates strength-building poses that require you work your mula bandha. Basically, as you do your standing poses — warrior poses and lunges and balancing poses that force you to support your own body weight while contorting this way and that — you end up contracting the muscle between your sphincter muscle and the muscle that controls urination. Yes, this is the yogic version of what is commonly referred to as “exercising your kegels.” And when you exercise your kegels, you can have stronger, more intense orgasms (as can your partner, if you squeeze him/her).
3.Yogasms.And speaking of orgasms, I’ve found that there is something to all the yogasm hullabaloo that popped up in the media last year. In addition to the stimulation that occurs to your nether regions when you work your mula bandha, and the improved orgasms that can occur from working that area, yoga helps you build body awareness in a way that — at least for me — has helped with my arousal levels. I’m not going to promise that you’ll be able to think yourself off (though that’s a definite possibility). I will say, however, that — at the very least — you may be able to think your way into extreme horniness.
4.Mental Health.I don’t know about you but, when I’m feeling angry with someone, I’m less likely to have sex with them. Unfortunately, when I was struggling with chronic depression and anxiety, I was angry a lot more often. Once I began practicing yoga, I became a lot less crazypants, which was a boon to my marriage. This is what I mean when I say that yoga is about a lot more than just the physical benefits. Between the poses, the breathing exercises, and the meditation, yoga can make you a lot more balanced. Which is generally code for: more sex!
5.Partner Yoga.As you can see from the points above, your partner doesn’t have to do yoga with you in order for your sex life to benefit. But if you’re open to trying something a little bit different as a means of improving intimacy in your relationship, try partner yoga. It necessitates closeness and builds trust. And working out together can boost endorphins. If your partner needs a little extra encouragement, just show them this video. Hot.
The word ‘orgy’ can conjure up different things for different people, particularly if you’ve never experienced one.
Some people might imagine a seedy gropefest in a darkened room. Others might picture an opulent and indulgent Greco-Roman affair, with grapes and wine spilling lasciviously over writhing bodies. In practice, a modern orgy is neither of these things – though there are certainly elements of both.
Let me explain.
It was a few years ago that I, for a birthday treat, was invited by my partner to an incredibly exclusive event in an intimidatingly expensive part of London; a female-focused, female-organized party for young professionals.
I found myself nervous when I arrived at the modern, glass-fronted lobby; it wasn’t my first such event, but it was certainly the most exclusive and as such I was keen to make a good impression, as much for my partner’s sake as for my own.
Respect is key at such an event. Good manners matter, and there are strict rules that must be obeyed to make sure everyone is safe, responsible and having fun. That is, after all, the entire point of an event like this.
The rules are generally agreed beforehand, and at this one it was forbidden for a man to approach or start a conversation with any woman apart from his partner. If one of the women is interested, they would approach you – never the other way round.
My partner and I slipped into the Stainless Steel lift and ascended from the lobby to the top floor. We kissed and soothed each other as it climbed towards the top of the building, and when the doors eventually pinged open a plush, purple and chrome room was revealed to us.
It was impeccable; the purple velour stretched from the carpet halfway up the walls, where it was met by mirrors that reached the rest of the way up to the ceiling. The lighting was soft and some quiet music flowed around us. It felt more like a wine bar than a venue for an orgy.
We were quickly met by a woman who took our names and checked them off a list, then took our coats and, as she quietly and politely laid down the ground rules, escorted us through some double doors into a kind of lounge area, in which around 30 men and women, all smartly dressed and some in masquerade masks, sipped cocktails and chatted.
Some were already reclining on the wide, plush sofas, getting closer to each other. The women outnumbered the men about two to one. This was definitely their night, their event. This was for them, and I was only too happy to be a part of it.
After my partner and I had acquired a glass of champagne each, we were soon approached by a beautiful young woman in a black satin dress that wasn’t quite long enough to conceal the lace around the tops of her stockings.
After some small talk, I was led to the sofa by my tie, very aware of the warmth of other bodies around us. I could hear flirtatious laughter all around, alongside kissing, moaning, sighing, and the rustle of hands over clothes. Other couples sat around the edges, observing and enjoying each other, watching the scene play out. Soon, there were more hands on me, and my own hands strayed onto others. It was just enough to see and just dark enough to be mysterious. My fingers would register the waistband of a suspender belt one moment, and the warm skin of a thigh the next, even as my own skin was moistened with others’ lips.
Afterwards, no one was in a rush to leave. We had all got to know each other and we simply sat, in various states of undress, and chatted, with charming flashes of embarrassment, about what we had just been a part of.
Suddenly, it was no longer an orgy, it was simply a collection of very similar minded people enjoying each other’s company. And that’s the real appeal of a modern orgy.
Bisexuality, for some reason, seems to be slightly more complicated for people to understand that you’d think. For one, many people think it means a 50-50 split of attraction to the opposite gender and the same, which simply isn’t true. It just means that at some time or another you may be attracted to both. And, as a second point, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve had relationships with both; merely had the attraction. This is where a lot of negativity around bisexuality seems to arise. There are those in communities of all sexual identities who believe that bisexuality isn’t real; rather that the person claiming to be bisexual is either afraid to come out as gay, or that they are trying to be ‘unique’ or get attention, or they’re simply greedy.
Now, we know that bisexuality is real, but in terms of the percentage of the population is bisexual (or identify as bisexual) it is extremely hard to measure. However, you can know, if you are bisexual, you’re not alone.
While you’re interacting with new people, you should be clear about your intentions, which means figuring out what they are yourself. Are you only interested in physical experimentation or more? A date, or a relationship? That can be subject to change, of course, but you need to be honest with people beforehand. Some won’t be interested in someone that’s experimenting, and some will be. Some might even think you’re using it as a line, and some might be eager to meet with you just because it would be your first time.
Just because you’re going to be going on dates with someone of the same gender doesn’t mean that it’s going to be wildly different than the dating you’ve done before; you can trust your judgement when chatting with people to know if they’re on the up and up. And don’t be tempted to act differently from how you usually would just because you and the person opposite have genitalia in common.
Phone a Friend
Everyone’s situation is different, and some people live in less tolerant places than others, but the most recent polls put over half of the American public in support of marriage equality. Still, you may feel like there’s no way any of your friends would understand, or that you shouldn’t share it with anyone unless you’re ‘sure,’ but people, especially your closest friends can surprise you. It will likely spark some questions (‘when did you know?’ ‘Are you in love with me?’) but the point is to have someone you can discuss this with, for heavy conversations, and even just sharing when you’ve met someone you like or want to laugh about a terrible date you had.
You’re never too old for love and exploration, but when was the last time you brushed up on correct sexual health practices? Anyone who has been out of the dating game for a while can forget about the basic practices that keep us happy and healthy. That means going and getting an STI check before you go start having sex with new people (because some STIs can remain symptomless) and using a barrier protection method during sex. That goes for guys and ladies both!
If you’re concerned about doing something wrong or not knowing what to expect, that’s part of the reason why being upfront about your inexperience helps you. As much as some people won’t be interested in you if you’re looking to experiment at an older age, there will be a ton of people who are interested in taking you under their wing, so to speak. Remember, the people that you’re meeting have also been in your shoes! Let people know it’s your first time, and any good lover will offer direction for what they enjoy.
Go With the Flow
Our sexual identities and interests can change and adapt to new experiences, so it’s possible you might end up somewhere that you didn’t expect when first set out.
If you’ve had any sort of long-held fantasy that you haven’t been able to experience before, it’s easy to build it up in your mind. The fact is, maybe once you do get a chance to fulfill it, it just might not be as life changing as you think it will be. And that’s fine! It won’t ever be exactly as you imagine it will be, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it (or not enjoy it) for what it is. And hey, maybe you just won’t know until you try.
I’ve not really bothered too much with butt plugs in the past, probably because the experiences I have had with them previously really weren’t that great.
The few I have tried, I’ve tried to wear during sex, but not being bulbous enough or not having enough of a tapered stem meant that they never wanted to stay put, and nobody wants a butt plug hurtling at them at speed when in the throes of passion do they? … So I just gave up. It niggled at me though, because I’ve always wanted a jewelled butt plug, who doesn’t want a sparkly ass? Enter the Fetish Fantasy Gold Luv Plug by Pipedream, I really couldn’t wait to try it out …
When this arrived I was eager to see just what this plug was going to be like. The packaging is inoffensive and fairly simple, to be honest I just wanted to get to what was inside! Inside the box was a plastic tray, cradling my new plug in a foam type bag. I was a bit sad to see that it wasn’t supplied with a storage bag – I know it’s a small detail, but to me it really makes a difference. I like a product to be sold with a storage bag for you to keep it safely stored in. Anyway, once inside the foam bag, I got my first glimpse of my gorgeous new plug, and it really is gorgeous! The first thing that caught my attention was the weight, it is much heavier than plugs I’ve previously tried, at around 130g this is definitely aimed at the intermediate market, a beginner to anal play may find it a little too daunting to begin with. It’s definitely not a beginners plug in terms of dimensions either. It has a total length of 4.5 inches and a circumference of 4.75 inches, it’s not huge by any means but I knew the size would give me a nice feeling of fullness when worn. Looking it over in my hands, I noticed just how flawless this plug is, there is not a mark in the finish, no scratches or any edges which feel sharp. The jewel was twinkling away, causing light to dance across the walls of the room. It felt so silky smooth, even though the finish isn’t highly polished, much more of a matt gold. I really like this, because seeing fingerprints all over it would drive me crazy. There was only one way I wanted this plug to drive me crazy, and fingerprints didn’t factor into my plan! I wondered if the three ridges around the neck would feel uncomfortable or strange during wear, I needn’t of worried …
A little bit of a personal warm up and some lubrication and insertion was surprisingly easy. The size and weight of this is just about perfect for me. I felt wonderfully full without feeling uncomfortable, and I found it easily stayed where it was put, much to my relief! The ridges feel good too, they’re honestly not as scary as some people might think they look. I’d had it under the hot tap for a minute before I popped it in because, well, it’s February and it’s bloody freezing, but if cold is your thing you’ll be happy to just slide it right in!
Worn during sex it feels incredible, my man certainly seemed to enjoy himself too. The base is a great size, it doesn’t interfere with anything and sits in place very comfortably. It looks amazing when worn, and it creates lovely patterns around the room when the light hits it right! Being metal it’s so easy to clean in the sink, and a spritz of sex toy cleaner means it’s ready and waiting for the next time it comes out to play. This is my first metal butt plug, but I suspect it wont be my last. I didn’t know what I was missing! Do you think this is the first time I’ve felt like the sun shines out my ass …?
Bahre and I met online… how else do people meet nowadays?
He is black and Jewish… My dreams instantly came true. I was sold before I ever saw his massive, thick, (did I mention massive?) cock.
Fast forward through all the chemistry that was quickly established, I asked him to marry me after the first fuck session…. I wish I were lying.
His cock, appropriately named ‘mojo’, could literally destroy an unsuspecting victim. I mean it.
We’ve fucked a few times, so I can say with quite some certainty I am whipped. Let me define: I want his cock, his cock only, and I want it all the time. Addiction is quite possibly is the most accurate way to define whipped.
The first time we fucked, we met at a hotel on my way to work…. that way I could spend the afternoon with him, and subsequently go to my afternoon appointments. Let’s just say I called in sick to work that afternoon.
I drove to the hotel, in sheer anticipation. This guy had sent me a photo of his mojo, and I was anxious about whether I would be able to handle it. It was by far the longest, thickest member I had seen in photographs, and I was unsure of my capacity.
I had the room number, and instructions to meet him there with lube, a toy, and myself. He greeted me naked; his strong chiseled body intimidated me even further. He went to freshen up before we got down to business. I rarely feel out of my league, but those 10 minutes of his shower time, I was debating running quickly out of there.. Our ‘business meeting’ was successful, to say the least. I came and came and soaked the sheets so thoroughly that we needed to order new ones.
We arranged to meet two days later, when I would have more time to explore my body, and his.
I let my kitty rest; I knew I would need it. This was a new kind of animal, and I was thoroughly overwhelmed.
I was given new instructions: Wear a jacket, no panties, no bra, and my most slutty shoes.
It was a freezing night in Los Angeles. I walked up the steps to his studio, freezing. My pussy could not even process what was going on. Would someone see me half nude, strutting around like a whore? At that point, I didn’t give a shit. My main objective was getting in to a warm room.
As I entered, Bahre greeted me naked, again.
Why does he do this to me?
“I’ve been waiting for you, beautiful” he snickered, clearly noticing my uneasiness.
“Did I tell you how sexy you are,” he lifted my chin and kissed me roughly.
Anxiety melted, and I was quickly in the mood.
“Let me see you,” he commanded as he unzipped my jacket.
It fell to the floor, and my tits were abruptly placed in his mouth, nipples attacked by his teeth.
“Go to the bathroom, I want you to see yourself being used as my slut.”
I walked in my heels to the bathroom, and followed instructions to bend over, across the ledge of the sink.
“mmmm, baby, you’re already creamy for me,” B. exclaimed before he licked his way over my butt cheeks.
“Fuck, I am going to take you with my tongue, and this cream better drip by the time I reach your warm cunt.”
He spread my fat ass, and swirled his tongue around my tight asshole, licking gently, before penetrating my rear hole with greediness.
By the time his tongue reached my pussy, I was already quivering in my heels, mounted over his marble ledge.
“Yummy. Turn around, I want you to watch yourself suck my cock in this mirror,” He pointed to the adjacent mirror.
I squatted down, engulfing mojo with my lips.
First, I took him just with my mouth, but this cock needs more than some fancy tongue action. I wrapped my left hand around his shaft, as my mouth went up and down his girth. He controlled my head with his hands, and guided me further down his length.
I wrapped his cock in my spit, and gagged further down his shaft, listening to him turning me on.
“Take all of me, you nasty slut, my fucking whore.”
For lack of better words, I was dripping, eager to be filled with his cock.
He turned me over, laid me hard against the counter, and spread my ass to slowly enter me.
As I watched in the mirror, his cock filled my throbbing kitty. I couldn’t help but let out a large gasp, adjusting to his girth.
He pulled my hair, and told me to take it like a dirty little slut.
Something about the sheer savagery of the moment made me cum harder than a fire hydrant. He released his cock from my pussy, and my juices spilled all over his wood floor.
“Good girl” he panted. “Turn around.”
By the time we were done in front of the mirrors/ on the sink, the mirrors were fogged, and a large puddle formed on the floor.
“Go rehydrate, and meet me in the bed.”
I drank some water, dripping in sweat and juices, and met him in bed.
He put a black cock ring around mojo, and he was throbbing even harder than before.
Ravenous for more, his tongue quickly met mine. He pinned my arms above me, and seemingly grew harder between my shaky legs.
“This is what you need, don’t you?”
“Doesn’t daddy give you everything you want…..”
“You’re going to bring this sweet juicy pussy to me whenever I want it, aren’t you my dirty slut….”
His dirty talk was driving me mad. I convulsed around his cock more than I thought possible.
The sheets were sufficiently soaked, and my pussy was sore.
“T.O., T.O.” I huffed.
“TIME fucking OUT.”
My pussy needed a break. That naughty grin reemerged on B.’s face, but quickly turned to contemplation.
“How would you feel if I shoved my fingers in your butt until your pussy is relaxed?”
“Sure, please just be gentle.”
His tongue met mine, as he inserted his lube soaked fingers into my puckered asshole.
I relaxed under his touch, and before I knew it, his rock hard member was back in my tender pussy.
As he unleashed himself into me, squirt gushed from my pussy covering the last dry spot on the sheets.
We were both soaking in juices, sweat and gasping for air.
He pulled himself off of me and fed me the remainder of his cum.
By now you’ve probably heard that weed can be a fantastic aphrodisiac. From its use in ancient tantric rituals to modern-day mating, it’s even been nicknamed “nature’s Viagra.”
But if you’re like many young people, your only exposure to the sticky-icky has been in college or at parties, where you’ve smoked other people’s joints and hit off other people’s bongs.
So, if you live in a state where pot is legal, how do you bring weed into the bedroom if you’re not sure how to get the green stuff from the bag into your body without just eating it? (Please, don’t do that.) Let our beginner’s guide lead the way.
Before we start, remember: Never ever dose your partner without his or her consent. Pot in the bedroom should be a joint experience. No pun intended. Now then!
First, clear your mind and get in the moment
Before using cannabis with your partner, it’s important to get into the right (chill) headspace. "No matter the method or strain of cannabis used, the real key to its implementation is the individual’s intention that they bring to the experience,” said Kami Lennox, who is researching the effects of cannabis on sex with well-known sexologist Nick Karras.
“If the mind is open to the infinite potential of the moment, then the benefits of increased sensation can be harnessed, especially in the realm of sexuality,” says Lennox.
“The high of cannabis allows its user to slow down and become more mindful, thus enabling the sexual exchange to become less goal-oriented and more about the present sexploration process.”
Mellow mindset? Check. Now onto the basics.
Second, note that strain and dose are key
The two most important things to understand when it comes to sex and weed are strain and dose. Karras, the sexologist, recommends a sativa or hybrid mix for peak intimacy. Why? Sativas create euphoric, happy, energetic feelings.
When ordering (legally, of course), never be afraid to speak up and ask for a good sex strain! Some popular ones are Lavender Trainwreck, Cinderella, and Super Lemon Haze.
Also, bear in mind that everyone reacts differently. “I’ve been finding that people with ADHD, they prefer the indica strains,” said Karras. Indica is generally associated with mellow, sedated highs—the weed that puts you to sleep—but may work as an aphrodisiac for some.
Method no. 1: Sex on weed using bowls and bubblers
Now onto the methods. Smoking is, of course, a popular method for many, since cannabis is quickly absorbed from the lungs into the bloodstream. If you’re too intimidated to roll your own joint, however, a bowl or bubbler is your new best friend. You simply load (“pack the bowl“), light, and smoke.
For the uninitiated, a bubbler is like a bowl, but has water at the bottom, which makes the smoke intake a little smoother than a regular bowl. Read: less coughing.
What it does: “Smoking is a pretty immediate high, which can work well in intimate situations,” said Karras. In other words, you’ll feel the euphoric, sexually arousing affects instantly. “At that point it’s all about touching and feeling,” said Karras. Just ride with it.
Method no. 2: Sex on weed using joints
Smoking a joint requires rolling a joint, which can be tricky. You’ll need papers, a grinder, perhaps a little instruction, and some patience if you’re a first-timer. (FYI, grinders are devices that, yes, grind the herb into the proper size and consistency.) If you’re aiming to make the experience romantic, you might want to pre-roll the joint before your date, to avoid having to frantically google “How to roll a joint” in front of your boo.
What it does: Like bowls and bubblers, the high can be pretty instant, which can be good for romance. “In a sexual situation, it quickly puts you into a mindful place where you can connect with your partner,” said Karras.
Method no. 3: Sex on weed using edibles
Pot edibles are a popular gag on TV and in movies—you know, Watch out for those brownies! But in real life, taking advantage of edibles, especially in the bedroom, requires some finesse.
First of all, the method offers a different high than smoking, since the cannabis is absorbed through your digestive tract. Edibles can take nearly an hour to kick in—you don’t really know when the cannabis will take effect—and they usually create a less euphoric high. In fact, they generally create a stoned, comatose high. Not so sexy.
Cooking edibles also requires knowledge about dosage—and since you might not know how much of a “hit” you’re getting with each bite, the method can be risky. Many have fallen into the trap of initially feeling nothing, eating more, then feeling too much.
What it does: According to Karras, edibles are not the best option for sex, unless you’re experienced with how your body reacts. “Stay as far away from the edibles as you can because of dosage,” he said. “If you’re planning a romantic evening, you don’t want to screw it up.” Also, the high can last four to six hours, which can be overwhelming for some.
Method no. 4: Sex on weed using loose-leaf portable vaporizers
For those who’d prefer a sleek alternative to smoking, consider the loose leaf vape pen. These work similarly to bowls: You pack a little ground-up weed into the chamber, let the pen heat up (usually one to five minutes), and then start taking hits. There’s even a little light that tells you when it’s good to go. Instead of smoke, you’re inhaling vapor, and the high is pretty fast.
You can also invest in a table-top vaporizer, but they’re not usually as portable (and thus, as convenient) as pens.
What it does: The speed of a vape pen means you can get to the intimate part of the experience more quickly. Plus, the lack of actual smoke means no unsexy coughing or throat burning.
Method no. 5: Sex on weed using topicals
With the country’s shift toward marijuana legalization, several new and exciting products are emerging in the topical department—including cannabis-infused lube and massage oils. Foria sells a THC lube that promises to intensify orgasms; Apothecanna Colorado makes THC-infused lotions (many meant for pain relief or massage); and even spas are getting in on the action.
What it does: Since the cannabis is absorbed through the skin, topicals produce only localized effects. “We created a product that is non-psychoactive,” the CEO of Foria told Fusion. “It’s a sensory based experience.” These products can certainly add spice to your bedroom life, but they may not create the same intimate connection with your partner as a whole-body high.
Finally, remember, practice makes perfect
One last tip? “Many first time users of cannabis find themselves overwhelmed by the experience and never give it another try,” said Lennox. “Practice is key.”
Women, like men, have their favorite sex tricks. Some may prefer sex when it’s slow and romantic, others like it a little rough. And even when you get tuned into their favorite positions and how they like to go to about it, there’s still certain moves to learn. That one caress in a specific place that will drive them wild.
Discovering those details is so much of the fun. Every woman's specific sex preferences are different. Some women love doggy style while others simply can't get off when taking it from behind. Other women prefer the pressure of a man's body on top of her in good old-fashioned missionary.
"Women absolutely LOVE anticipation. When I'm engaging with my woman, I enjoy beginning the process much earlier in the day. I'll often sneak up behind her — half hard — and tell her I can't wait to taste her later while pressing myself against her,” says Brenden Dilley, celebrity life coach.
“Build the anticipation by kissing her passionately while firmly gripping her hair and ever so gently pulling her head away and then close and away once more...teasing her and mimicking the rhythm we have during sex,” says Dilley. Obviously you only want to try this with someone you're already intimate with; but that extra bit of anticipation and play can make all the difference.
Head To Route 69
Most guys enjoy when their lady gives them a blowjob. It should come as no surprise then, that women love it when their guy goes down on them at the same time! “To be able to come to a mutual climax is the high point of intimacy when both partners feel safe enough to respond to their impulses free from inhibitions,” says Dr. Fran Walfish, a relationship psychotherapist.
Whether from behind or on top, pull almost completely out and let her feel just the tip (yeah, like you used to do… "Just the tip!"). “As badly as you want to push in completely, tease her with your tip for a few seconds until she begs to have you completely inside her,” says House.
Stimulate Her Nipples
Many people can have orgasms through nipple stimulation alone. Try licking the nipples and then blowing on them. The nipples contain erectile tissue, so the cooling effect is likely to make them hard. You can also try pinching, rolling, and tugging. “Moisten your fingers with saliva first, and use your thumb and index and middle fingers to tease the areolas and nipples. Since the nipples have more nerves than the areolas, sliding from areola to nipple again and again can build and intensify arousal. For some lucky people, this alone will be enough to produce an orgasm,” says Michaels.
When you're deep inside her, press your finger into her ass to the depth of your first joint, then move your finger in a ‘come here’ motion. Being taken by you, in multiple orifices, can lead her to having an even more intense orgasm. Just don't pull this trick every time. Test if she wants it by encircling your finger around her anus and see if she pushes up against you- showing that she wants you to insert your finger, or pulls away, letting you know that she doesn't want that type of play tonight.
Palm Her Lower Back
When you're having sex with her from behind, you shouldn't forget about her back — it's one of the best sex tricks out there. Stimulating the sacrum (the five fused vertebrae at the base of the spine, often called the small of the back) in this position can add to your partner’s arousal. This area is super sensitive. The sacral nerves run from the sacrum to the genitals, as well as through the legs to the soles of the feet. These nerves play an important part in the orgasmic response, and stimulating them electrically has shown promise as a treatment for people who are unable to experience orgasm.
The best way to engage the sacrum in this position is to tap gently at first with the fingertips of one hand. You’ll need the other to keep your balance and continue thrusting. Next, you can move into gentle percussion with the knife-edge of your hand, like a soft karate chop. Check in to determine what feels best. You can also place the palm of your hand on the sacrum and rub, producing friction, or hold it in place and vibrate it. All of these methods can produce an intensified state of arousal.
Nuzzle Her Neck
The neck is often overlooked but it’s a major erogenous zone. A bite on the neck is part of the mating ritual in cats and other members of the animal kingdom. The nape of the neck is very sensitive to more subtle contact, so there’s no need to be as aggressive as a wildcat, although getting bitten in this area can be a huge turn-on too, especially if you’re already highly aroused.
So, your man has expressed an interest in BDSM, and the thought of having a powerful woman in the bedroom turns him on something rotten. He’s told you he likes the idea of being tied up and flogged until he feels the need to beg you for mercy, or words to that effect. And now you are wanting to make his fantasy a reality, but haven’t a clue where to start. Well, first things first, you’ve got to look the part and have the right equipment. Before the night itself you’ll need to invest in some sexy lingerie (if you don’t already have it).
So, what’s the look you’re going for? Mean leather wearing Dominatrix, or sexy frills and silk? If you answered with the latter, then I am here to kick you up the butt. Your man has just asked you to tie his naked arse down and thrash him senseless, and standing there in a pink babydoll really isn’t going to cut it. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you can’t wear what ever you like and still have a great time and look sexy, it’s just my opinion, your man wants mean, so give him a cruel looking femme fatale.
Now, most of you have agreed with me on the above issue, so let’s look at some gear to get you looking and feeling the part. A corset is a must, and any of the following will suffice, it’s just a matter of taste.
Next you’ll want to add to your look with stockings and a suspender belt, or maybe a tight pencil skirt, and of course heels or boots. The higher the better, heel wise, and boot wise.
And a tip when doing hair and makeup, be dramatic. Add extra eyeliner, extra mascara, and give that hair some body. Tonight you are Mistress Whiplash and you don’t want to look your everyday self. You want to forget about your job and life’s hassles and be sexy, be powerful, and be naughty with your man.
The Whip, The Crop, The Cat-O-Nine, whichever one you choose make sure you test it out on yourself first. Knowing what it feels like on yourself will help you gauge the strength you’ll need to create anything from a tingle to a sting.
Handcuffs, rope, or cuffs to keep him in place? Again it’s your choice. My particular favourite out of the three is the rope. It’s more versatile and in my opinion more of a sexy feeling. The feel of cold steel snaking around your wrists is nice, but having someone take the time to wrap you in rope and knots, for me, is a sexier experience.
Setting the Scene
The two most important things here are lighting and music. You’ll want low lighting to create the atmosphere, so I would always opt for candles over lamp light. Now, any candles will do the job, but why not try DONA or Kama Sutra Massage Candles? These look like normal candles but melt into a nourishing oil for massage. The perfect opportunity to add a little extra fear into your man as you hover what he thinks is a hot wax candle above his chest. And an extra bonus is these candles are infused with ingredients that have an aphrodisiac effect, so not only will you have lit the room nicely, you’ll have filled it with the scent of lust too.
On to music now. For music you’ll probably want something bass driven or dark to keep you in the zone of Mistress Whiplash. My recommendations are; Anything by The Weekend, Slippage by Golgfrapp, L’Odeur Animale by Hooverphonic, Soft Control by Laura Welsh, Glory Box by Portishead, Bones by In This Moment, Desire by Meg Myers, All Mine by Portishead, and Pink Floyds Dark Side of the Moon album. I could go on forever, but have a listen to a few and see what you think.
I’m not talking literally. Before you invite your lover into your boudoir of sin, have a plan. Will you blindfold him as soon as he walks through the door? Will you cuff/bind him? If so, where? What will you say as he enters? Will you make him crawl to your feet? Will you actually be using your whip, or just tormenting him with the sound as it cuts through the air? Just have a rough idea of what you will say and do, it will make the night run smoother and make you feel more relaxed knowing you have a plan.
Now that you are set, you look the part, you’ve got what you need, and the room is ready, don’t let all your efforts go to waste now because you feel nervous or silly. Remember you are in control tonight and this is what he wants, so let him have it. Let go! Be wild! Live! And if all else fails, have a couple of sneaky shots before you begin. What’s the worst that could happen?
Just to be clear, I am by no means a professional at being a Dominatrix. I am just your average woman who likes to dabble in all kinds of fun and kink, and likes to share tips and advice with other women out there, and men, who want to listen.
I have a new motto: Test drive the car before you invest any time in to it!!!
And by car… I’m loosely referring to any man you decide to give any of your time to.
He had the makings of being a good match. He was tall, bulky (my favorite type of build), dark skinned, light eyes and former football player. But, no. They can’t all be winners, and that’s when you start to appreciate the real mvp’s. ;) Brian and I went on a few too many dates before he ever brought out his ‘kinky’ side. This probably should’ve been my first red flag. He didn’t even attempt to kiss me on the first evening, and by the second I almost begged to feel his energy. At some points he was just boring… but I liked something about him, so I was going to attempt the virginal act.
Although this doesn’t last long, by the third date, I had to beg to suck him off. I really wanted to get him going… But he was lame. Barely initiated anything. He did play with my pussy in the car, and had some finger skills. We drove off, and I still had to go home and play. Finally the night came for me to go to his place and fuck him. Holy moly, unpleasant could be an adequate word. He ate me out; barely finger fucked me… and then decided to fuck me. He lasted approximately 3 minutes, before he pulled out and came.. Giving me no warning of his anticlimactic finish. He just lay there, like a dead fish, no longer capable of providing pleasure to me, or just about anything.
I took the hint, and decided to go home before I fell asleep out of sheer exhaustion. After a few days of silence on his part, I got a text saying… “I’m just not feeling this anymore.”
The evening started off with some wine and light conversation. I always do the talking for George and I. Eventually Aaron turned on some porn, and the mood changed dramatically. We all undressed, and moved toward the mattress in the middle of the room. I could not wait to have Jades luscious tits in my mouth. She straddled my body, and our tongues danced in each other’s mouths before she let her tongue dance down to my clit. She was very skilled in using her tongue, and knew just how to get me to arch my back in sheer pleasure.
Aaron and George lay back to watch us going at it, occasionally letting us know how hot we looked giving each other pleasure. Jade enjoys wearing a strap on when she plays with females, and last night was no exception. She was very eager to fuck me with the big white strap on that was lying in the corner. As she put on the device, she asked me if I wanted to touch it.
Of course I did.
“Do you like my big cock?” Jade asked.
“oh yes, I want to feel you fuck me,” I responded
She wrapped a magnum around the cock, and told me she would go gentle. She slowly placed the head of her cock in my opening, guiding it with her hand. I could feel my pussy being nicely filled, as her tits covered my face. Nothing will ever replace a man fucking the daylights out of you. But a sexy woman fucking you is still incredible. Her luscious body on mine, filling my hole just the way I like it. After I came, it was her time to receive pleasure. We took off the condom and set the toy down while I went to down her.
Her pussy was wet, and she smelled like sweet sex. I let my tongue talk to her clit, and slowly inserted two fingers in her. George took me from behind, allowing my pussy not to have a break, while I adequately added moisture to Jade’s tight pussy. Once she was ready to take cock I put on a new condom, and put on the strap on. I have never fucked a woman using a strap-on so I had to warn her that I might not be the best fuck. She wasn’t worried. I straddled her, and inserted my newly anointed cock into her. I flicked her clit with one of my fingers, while my mouth found hers. Her moans filled the air, and George and Aaron were entranced.
“Do you like me filling up your tight hole?” I asked.
“Take me from behind,” Jade moaned.
“Whatever your heart desires baby.”
She flipped on her back, and I spread her cheeks before putting myself deep in to her.
Aaron interjected, “ladies, we have two very able cocks for you when you are ready.”
Jade and I giggled, after almost forgetting the two men who excitedly sat on the sidelines. I removed the strap on, watching George fucking Jade and Aaron feeding her his cock. The room became progressively warmer.
Jade called me over. "Come join us."
Jade and I positioned ourselves doggie style, allowing our partners to enter us from behind while we continued to give each other sloppy kisses. Aaron pulled my hair, and fucked me hard from behind while commanding me to suck Jade's nipple. Aaron came in me quickly, but got back in the action even quicker. I was fucking full.
The pressure of the butt plug was tremendous. As Evan used the leash to guide me to his cock, I felt the plug filling my asshole in new ways. I concentrated on the hard, stiff cock in my mouth as George entered my dripping pussy. I was fucking FILLED. And it felt amazing. The moans that ripped through my body were intense, and probably could have awoken the neighbors.
Cumming around a butt plug feels like a completely different orgasm. Amazing
This round didn’t take as long for the boys to finish. They were exceptionally turned on by my submission, and George and Evan came in me/in my mouth simultaneously.
"How many people have you fucked with that thing anyway?" my boyfriend asks over the phone. I giggle for far too long in response. A cackle, really.
"Now you know how we feel," I say.
This isn't the first time I've brought up strap-on sex, much to his distaste. My boyfriend is uncertain, but I'm persistent. "Just the tip?" I ask. "I can always pull out if it gets too intense.... you know... if you like it too much."
As we talk, I hold the member in question: seven and a half inches of realistic vanilla cyberskin. Thick shaft. Bouncy head. Taut balls. I pour on some lube and begin to stroke the silicone absentmindedly, giving my fist a slight twirl, imagining how it would feel for him to hold my cock.
"Baby, do we have to rush into this? Can't you just... lick my ass or something?"
"Babyyyy," I say, pointing the dildo at the ceiling, "You let me know when you're ready, OK? I'm hard for you."
I hang up without saying goodbye, the way people do in movies. I linger in bed and smoke out the window, quite pleased with myself.
At this point, there's no need in touting the popularity of hetero "anal play." It's just common knowledge that nearly all men want to penetrate you-women, us-women, in the ass. But now, many men, greedy fucks that they are, also want to experience anal pleasure on their own terms, moving their hips mid-blowjob so that a tongue or finger slips toward that cute hairy little fecal hole.
And so, even the more extreme act of pegging—a girl fucking a dude in the butt with a strap-on dildo—is trending. (#peggingistrending) The act was featured in a recent episode of Comedy Central's Broad City, the show that takes place in Brooklyn and follows the lives of a pair of 20-something white girls, a demographic to which I belong. Pegging is having such a moment, it has even been a plot point in a spattering of CSI-type crime dramas and used as the butt of some jokes in a few Hollywood comedies.And of course, it's all over porn. You'd be surprised by the amount of quality strap-on fuck videos that have accumulated in recent years.
I can't say I don't find pleasure in playing with a man's butthole. There's a certain satisfaction in thrusting a middle finger up a dude's ass. But an anal fuck is more advanced. It is intense. I know, of course, because I've done it for boyfriends who wanted it, and it's true what they say: With the right amount of drugs and lubricant, it can be heaven... but mostly it hurts.
Alone in my room, after I'm off the phone with my boyfriend, I can't stop watching strap-on porn. I like it. I like the female roles, flat as they are. I prefer the girls who act loving and firm, or coy and cruel, like a little girl who takes pleasure in ripping the wings from insects. Still, it's impossible to break through the cloud of male fantasy.
From what I gather, the men want one of two things: Either he is looking for an intimate exploration of anal pleasure (all those boyfriends pressuring a sig-other to bend them over) or they want the femme-dom experience of being fucked and humiliated by a woman so powerful she "makes you" take cock.
But who cares what men want. Men will fetishize anything. They're dogs. Sooner or later, they all howl.
This was supposed to be about what I wanted.
I think about fucking him over the arm of the sofa, the throw blanket folded beneath him so I can grab at either end, making a sling to hoist and thrust myself in more deeply.
Perhaps other women have felt this desire, but then who knows what other women want. All I know is fantasies aren't formed in a bubble and mine began when the near constant sex with my boyfriend began to wane.
When we first met the energy between us was so strong we could barely go out in public. It was as if by looking at each other, we were already touching. Each kiss was an orgy and we were in constant danger of devouring each other. "No. Not yet, not yet," I'd hiss as I slid my body nude against his, beginning the beastly struggle that he inevitably won, thrusting with an immense stabbing that gave way to pleasure.
He told me from the beginning that normally, he identified as a submissive, but in our sex he was undeniably the dominant.
I guess any role becomes a burden the more fixed it feels.
"You're stealing all of the sub-space in this relationship," he once playfully scolded while slapping me across the face in the shower.
But as we grew closer, the dynamic began to shift. We were sweet, we were cozy. We were no longer having sex in public.
"Do you love me?" he asked.
"I'm not sure... I'm not sure you're worthy of my love," I teased.
I wanted to take it further, but I felt timid. I was sure that if we switched we would find something even deeper and my fantasies only grew more elaborate and violent as I craved this control. But I was nervous. I needed a sexual prop.
If only I had what Freud called the "far superior" male equipment. If only we both had cocks... how much we would worship them.
In my mind, it was all planned out. I would arrive at 9 PM and just after he greeted me with a kiss, I would order him to turn around. "OK," I would continue, leading him to the bedroom by the nape of the neck. "There is something I need you to do for me and because you're such a good boyfriend, I know that you will."
But I don't say this. Instead, I follow him to the sofa where we bundle together, drink whiskey, and make lazy pillow talk.
"Which male Disney character would you have sex with?" I ask.
"I don't know. Maybe the dad from Aladdin—the jolly fat clueless dad," he grins idiotically, "Or maybe that warthog that sings 'Hakuna Matata.'"
"I was thinking more like Scar from Lion King," I say.
"No. That's too obvious."
As we nestle together, the fantasy runs through my mind: "Put it in your mouth. Do it fancy... the way you like," I would say as he tongued the crown of the silicone, rhythmically gliding, swiveling his head from side to side, looking up with expectant blue eyes.
I think about fucking him over the arm of the sofa, the throw blanket folded beneath him so I can grab at either end, making a sling to hoist and thrust myself in more deeply.
But here we were, assessing the fuckability of various cartoon mammals.
When it is finally late and we are going to sleep, I ask him to take off his clothes. "Now take off mine," I say and he curls into my naked chest.
"Baby," he whimpers, softly writhing against my belly. "I want to fuck you."
I take my time and slowly graze his cock with my palm. "Are you going to give me what I want?" I tease. "Are you going to do everything I say?" And at that moment he goes limp in my hand.
"Baby, why do you have to bring a power dynamic into it? I just wanted to have nice sex with you. It's not like I always want sex."
In the hours that follow, I stroke his hair and we talk about it: The ambivalence toward his own kinks, a hesitation in his lust for me as we become more emotionally entangled, a bewilderment toward typical male desire, an uncertainty of how to desire sex in general.
"Just try to accept it... like a woman," I say.
"I've been trying," he says.
We talk for too long and then he says things that make me angry. I roll over to sleep but continue to wake as he tosses toward and then away from me.
Something happens to us in between dreams. Everything we had spoken about means nothing anymore. He reaches for my body and we are saturated with our many different kinds of kisses, with spit and lube, my fingers at the root of his ass, twirling to find the internal nook that causes his moans to ripple.
In the soft morning I fumble to fasten the harness.
Below me, he is quiet as I press the tip of the silicone to his flesh. For a moment it isn't going to work but then there's a give, a slide, and he thrashes, teeth gleaming. I pin him with my elbows and remain still for a long moment. I begin to move, slowly, so that his cries eventually grow melodic, his cock glistening and stiff against his belly.
You poor men! This is a lot of work, the whole business of endlessly thrusting, mentally calculating, thrusting, knowing you could physically harm the person beneath you.
"You ride me," I command, out of breath.
But in the switch, he has gone soft.
Maybe pegging is just about revenge? But who cares.
"Let's keep going," I say, the lack of sleep leaving me unhinged. "The harness was rubbing me nicely. I think I can come. I'm still hard!"
If I know anything, it's that my desires are inextricably tangled with those of men, but surely, I have some wants of my own. Surely, the fact that boyfriends so rarely want to enact my fantasies speaks to this. Such is the tragedy of the female pervert.
Maybe pegging (#thetrend) is just about revenge? But who cares.
"No way. I can't keep going," he says, collapsing in my lap. "I'm sorry baby. But that's it."
"It's OK," I say. "You don't have to apologize. You were great."
We nestle for a moment longer. "But you can apologize for all of the men," I add.
He lifts his head from my thighs. "I am sorry for all of the men. I truly am."
Rachel Rabbit White is a writer living in New York City.
With Valentines day fast approaching I’m sure you will be browsing the shops and internet to find that perfect gift for your loved one. Well, look no further, I intend to cover every romantic and filthy gesture and product you will need.
So, lets start with the more romantic gifts. What’s the first thing you think of when you hear the word romance? Flickering candle light? Rose petals sprayed throughout the room? Champagne for two? Chocolate covered strawberry’s? Yes, we all love the sound of that don’t we? Well, look no further than Forbidden Luxury’s Romance Concierge packages. If you don’t have the time or the patience to create the perfect scene, let Forbidden Luxury do it for you. Leave the detail to them, sit back, and relax with your partner on Valentine’s day while you indulge in the romance, and each other. So, why not treat him or her to a romantic Valentines night that’s sure to be appreciated.
Another romantic gesture and a great valentines treat is a sensual massage. We all love the sensation of being oiled up and having those stressful knots kneaded away, so why not try the DONA Be Romanced Gift Set? Give that hard working man or woman in your life a well deserved rub down with an aroma to suit the mood you want to create, be it Flirty (Blushing Berry), Sassy (Tropical Tease), or Naughty (Sinful Spring).
A treat for her, or you? Either way you can’t go wrong.
Whether your partner be a sexy robe wearing minx or a fishnet stocking vixen, Forbidden Luxury’s Lingerie Collection will cover it. With sizes ranging from small to plus size, and lingerie covering everything from classy and elegant to down right naughty, you are bound to find something for that special lady. But wait a minute, what about the guys? Don’t worry ladies, there’s something for your hunk too. Is he an animal in the bedroom? Then the Male Power loincloth is for you. And what about for the kinky bad boys out there who just love the feel of leather against his skin? We’ve got him covered too, no pun intended. The Rapture Male Leather Shorts are bound to put a smile on his face, and yours too for that matter. Or if your man likes to tease you with his package and leave more to the imagination, there’s always the snug fitting Apollo Mesh Briefs or Jock with removable c-ring.
Toys for Her
From the classic rabbit, to the dominatrix’s weapons of discipline, Forbidden Luxury has it all.
Why not pick up the new breed of rabbit for that naughty lady of yours and present her with the Blush G Rabbit Vibrator? This bad boy offers seven vibrating functions, three speed multi-directional beads, and a perfectly curved head to hit that oh so sweet g-spot. And for the kinkier of your naughty girls out there why not try the Fifty Shades range of products. You can pick up anything from hand cuffs and fetish feathers to bondage kits and gags.
Toys for Him
Not so much a toy, but a gift that’s sure to get his mind running at one hundred miles an hour is lubrication. With a wide variety on the market these days you can pick up lube that heats, is flavoured, and get this, a lube that helps your man maintain an erection. Just picture his face when you hand him one of those. You just know what he’s thinking don’t you? Flavored, oh yes ladies he’s picturing you down on your knees. Heat, well that’s got to conjure up a picture of friction in his head hasn’t it? And what might the scenario in his head be when you hand him the Endless Love for Men, Stay Hard and Prolong Lube? I’ll let you figure that one out.
Another AMAZING gift for your man is The Hitachi Magic Wand with the XGen Body WandStroker Attachment. Now this baby will blow your mans mind! Orgasm guaranteed, and I’ve seen the effects first hand ladies. If you think you’ve seen your man climax, think again. TheHitachi Magic Wand is a must have for any relationship. It comes with various attachments for men and women, and is one of the most intense feelings you will experience with a toy. This is a MUST for your chest of naughty toys.
Now what would Valentines Day be without a saucy book to read? There are plenty out there, and good ones too, but there’s only one I’m going to brag about and that’s mine. The Architect by C.A.Bell is a BDSM erotic romance that is sure to leave you reading one handed and wanting more. For more info check out my author page http://authorcabell.co.uk
Valentine's Day Collection
If you're still unsure as to what to get your significant other, don't worry, Forbidden Luxury always makes it easier for you. Click here for the Valentines Day Collection.